Dear Christian Girls
Hey Gals/Guys (This isn't just written for girls)
I am writing this post after so much thought and conviction because I truly believe we need to start living in a more honest and open world.
I am cringing just writing this because I have no control over who is going to be reading this. However that is the exact reason I am writing this too. I'm here to back those girls who feel stuck in a vicious dark secret that Porn is.
I long to live in a society where as Christians we are so transparent about our short comings and struggles. Now I totally get there is a time and a place for these things- I don't expect people to bare their hearts on the comment section. (I'm so happy for people to message me privately though!)
I just think if church and youth groups were more honest about it being a 'human' issue rather than a 'boy' issue, then we can shed some light on the darkness that porn can lead too.
I am going to be really raw and honest in sharing some of my own personal details with you, in hope that it can help you too.
My experience wasn't perhaps what you would expect when you hear the phrase 'porn addiction'. For me, it all started off with a simple google here and another google there. I was interested and intrigued and knew it was 'forbidden' amongst my church friends. I didn't understand why, but I just knew it was wrong.
As a female, I was never asked about porn or my sexuality or any of that. I felt I never had the chance to be open and honest about it. To be honest with you, I didn't realise I was even addicted to porn until a few years ago. It was talked about as a 'boy issue', so my naive mind assumed what I was doing was okay. (I just want to add here- I am not blaming anybody, this is my sin and down to my own short comings.)
Because I didn't even realise what this was, I never told anybody. I went through youth groups, relationships, friendships keeping this a dark secret. To this day, only a few close friends will actually be aware of this even now. Last year was the first time I opened up about it to anybody. I was 19 years old by this stage- 5 years on.
The enemy was planting the seed in my mind that this was normal and I was just responding to my natural desires. I am not here to shame anyone, but I want to remind each and every one of you that there is freedom. The longer this stays a secret, the longer we allow the enemy to think he has a hold. Even if you tell one person, there is so much light that can be shed on it!
I thought I would explain a little about my journey and where I am at today as I write this.
For me, it was always the little choices I made which ended up filling my mind with lust and desires which couldn't be fulfilled yet.
It was choosing to watch a rom-com, which I knew had multiple sex scenes in.
It was reading books that has explicit details about relationships that consumed my mind and made me crave it.
These things were not healthy to be filling my mind with and affected so many areas of my life, but especially my past relationships. It was setting up a fire in my heart, which couldn't be contained and wasn't ready to be alight.
Today I would love to say this is an issue of the past and my heart is completely over it. Part of that is true, as I am now aware and guard my heart away from those compromising situations.
I know myself and what's healthy to be feeding on and what will build me up as a woman of God.
However in my heart there are still those lustful thoughts that are rooted in the years I spent surrounding myself with Porn. This is a journey and everyone is at a different pace with it and that's okay.
I would like to reach out to those who haven't told anybody about this- don't let the darkness have any more hold over you. Tell someone you trust who can keep you accountable, but most importantly tell God. He's listening and cares so much. This is a pretty big step of bravery, but I believe in you.
I would like to encourage those who are on the journey to receiving Gods best for your heart. You have done such a big step already, saying no to the enemy's plans and yes to Gods. There will be good days, there will be bad days- run to Jesus on both of those.
I would like to now talk to those of you who have never personally experienced this. I am overjoyed that this is the case for you. Unfortunately this isn't the case for your best friend- so please just listen and allow them a space to talk and be honest.
We can fight this battle, wherever you count yourself. However the battle has already been won. It is finished. Lets bring that light and truth to the world!
This is such a tricky topic to talk about sensitively, so I really hope I have done that justice. Like I say, I am always happy to chat this through with anybody as I am really passionate about breaking the ice.
Lots of love,
Charlie x
I am writing this post after so much thought and conviction because I truly believe we need to start living in a more honest and open world.
When I was about 12, my mind got curious and would often question sex and how female and male bodies worked etc.. This is normal right?
Then when I was 13, I started to get more interested in boys and would have a loooooong list of guys that I fancied.
Then when I was 14, my addiction to Porn started. Yup that's right, a girl addicted to Porn. Unheard of? Yes. Very common? Absolutely.
I am cringing just writing this because I have no control over who is going to be reading this. However that is the exact reason I am writing this too. I'm here to back those girls who feel stuck in a vicious dark secret that Porn is.
I long to live in a society where as Christians we are so transparent about our short comings and struggles. Now I totally get there is a time and a place for these things- I don't expect people to bare their hearts on the comment section. (I'm so happy for people to message me privately though!)
I just think if church and youth groups were more honest about it being a 'human' issue rather than a 'boy' issue, then we can shed some light on the darkness that porn can lead too.
I am going to be really raw and honest in sharing some of my own personal details with you, in hope that it can help you too.
My experience wasn't perhaps what you would expect when you hear the phrase 'porn addiction'. For me, it all started off with a simple google here and another google there. I was interested and intrigued and knew it was 'forbidden' amongst my church friends. I didn't understand why, but I just knew it was wrong.
As a female, I was never asked about porn or my sexuality or any of that. I felt I never had the chance to be open and honest about it. To be honest with you, I didn't realise I was even addicted to porn until a few years ago. It was talked about as a 'boy issue', so my naive mind assumed what I was doing was okay. (I just want to add here- I am not blaming anybody, this is my sin and down to my own short comings.)
Because I didn't even realise what this was, I never told anybody. I went through youth groups, relationships, friendships keeping this a dark secret. To this day, only a few close friends will actually be aware of this even now. Last year was the first time I opened up about it to anybody. I was 19 years old by this stage- 5 years on.
The enemy was planting the seed in my mind that this was normal and I was just responding to my natural desires. I am not here to shame anyone, but I want to remind each and every one of you that there is freedom. The longer this stays a secret, the longer we allow the enemy to think he has a hold. Even if you tell one person, there is so much light that can be shed on it!
I thought I would explain a little about my journey and where I am at today as I write this.
For me, it was always the little choices I made which ended up filling my mind with lust and desires which couldn't be fulfilled yet.
It was choosing to watch a rom-com, which I knew had multiple sex scenes in.
It was reading books that has explicit details about relationships that consumed my mind and made me crave it.
These things were not healthy to be filling my mind with and affected so many areas of my life, but especially my past relationships. It was setting up a fire in my heart, which couldn't be contained and wasn't ready to be alight.
Today I would love to say this is an issue of the past and my heart is completely over it. Part of that is true, as I am now aware and guard my heart away from those compromising situations.
I know myself and what's healthy to be feeding on and what will build me up as a woman of God.
However in my heart there are still those lustful thoughts that are rooted in the years I spent surrounding myself with Porn. This is a journey and everyone is at a different pace with it and that's okay.
I would like to reach out to those who haven't told anybody about this- don't let the darkness have any more hold over you. Tell someone you trust who can keep you accountable, but most importantly tell God. He's listening and cares so much. This is a pretty big step of bravery, but I believe in you.
I would like to encourage those who are on the journey to receiving Gods best for your heart. You have done such a big step already, saying no to the enemy's plans and yes to Gods. There will be good days, there will be bad days- run to Jesus on both of those.
I would like to now talk to those of you who have never personally experienced this. I am overjoyed that this is the case for you. Unfortunately this isn't the case for your best friend- so please just listen and allow them a space to talk and be honest.
We can fight this battle, wherever you count yourself. However the battle has already been won. It is finished. Lets bring that light and truth to the world!
This is such a tricky topic to talk about sensitively, so I really hope I have done that justice. Like I say, I am always happy to chat this through with anybody as I am really passionate about breaking the ice.
Lots of love,
Charlie x
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