Lets chat about.... Boundaries

Hello Hello!

I don’t know about you, but lockdown for me has consisted of a lot of thinking and reflection time. Just before lockdown, my relationship ended which meant I suddenly had ALLLL the time in the world to process. This has been such a blessing (Mostly… some days a curse) being able to come home and have some healing of the heart time.

I have learnt a ton about myself- good, the bad and the downright ugly sides that come out. However, I know this journey has only just begun, so

LET’S GOO!

I wanted to come and chat about something that God is teaching me SO much about right now. I have been working my way through a book titled ‘Boundaries’ by Cloud and Townsend. In short, I think every person should go and read it because it will likely change you.

I wanted to share my thoughts as I read this book and hopefully give you a chance to think about this for yourself. I didn’t realise how much I needed boundaries until I hit the point where every area of my life lacked them.

This book has 3 main sections, which starts with looking into what boundaries are and ending with practical ways to implement them into your daily life.

I want to discuss the first 2 chapters and everything I have learnt about my own life.

 *Disclaimer* If you are wanting to read the book, then maybe read these sections for yourself and check my reflections out after. All of our journeys will look so different. 

I first off realised how much I related to the busy woman’s lifestyle and her ‘never stopping’ attitude. She would often convince herself that she’s doing the right thing by others which is definitely a trap I often find myself in. I am a hugeeee people pleaser.

So being a huge people pleaser, I love being that dependable person for everyone. I fear that if I say no once, then it will look like I can’t be trusted. FYI THIS IS A LIE. NOT TRUE AT ALL.

Reading this book, I am learning the truth is that I am responsible for my life and actions and other people are responsible for their life and actions. Actually, me having boundaries of where I stop helping others is loving them a lot better than having no boundaries.

My biggest take out from this chapter is probably how clear Gods example of Boundary setting is. In Matthew 5:33-37 from the message translation it is such a clear representation of what happens when we throw a ‘Maybe’ or a ‘halfhearted yes’.

Last but not least, I loved the analogy of you have your own garden and you have this space to do whatever you wish with it. Boundaries create a sense of clarity for yourself, as well as those around you. God wants us to build boundaries, not walls. Our limits need to be permeable enough to allow passing and strong enough to keep out danger.

Now I know this is a lot of information and I hope this doesn’t seem too overwhelming for you. Like with any journey, taking that first step is often the hardest and after that you chose the pace. I promise you that discovering more about Gods plan for you will never be a waste of time.

I want to encourage you to have accountability as you start this journey because boundaries and accountability work way better hand in hand. Maybe grab someone you trust- A friend, mentor, brother, parent and read through this book together.

If you’re a book love like me, then check out my Good Reads and keep up to date with what I a reading!

Lots of love,

Charlie x