Why am i the person I am today?

Even though you may be similar to somebody, you will still be very different to them because of the life events you've been through and the choices you've made. These things will shape us into the people we are right now or will be in the future. They could be teeny tiny or pretty massive, but i assure you that somewhere and at some point they will make an impact. So i wanted to discuss some of the things that have shaped me into the person I am today. They're in no chronological order, but just as I think of them. 

1. Relationships

This isn't a field I'm particularly very knowledgeable in as I've only been in two relationships. But I do know that they have both helped shape me and help me mature as i grew up. They have taught me that I used to be very naive and you could probably save a pushover, but after having learnt that it helped me stand up for myself. It took me a couple of years to fully master this as i didn't want to become the one pushing anybody around, I just wanted a fair relationship. Relationships have helped me learn so much about myself way more than i knew about the other person. Whether you have "bad" ex's or "good" ex's, my advice would be to let that experience change YOU for the better. 

2. Losing people

In my 16 years of living, I've lost a fair few family members/close family friends. This is an experience i will never "master", as it just seems to get harder every time. Even though this is such a devastating topic, i still believe some good comes from everything. So instead of focusing on the sad side, I will comment on the slightly more positive side to it (As positive as it goes anyway). After losing someone close to you, you have to learn to cope without them in order to get on with your life. This skill is very handy i think, as most things in this life are temporary and will come and go without you realizing. So the better you are at letting go, the bigger chance you'll get at being happier. I also think being appreciative of somebody and making sure they know it, whilst you still can is very important. It helps me see the best in people and this has generally led to me having a more positive mind set. 

3. Being told I'm too shy

This one will seem slightly odd, but once I explain you'll hopefully understand. 

From starting school up until pretty recently i get told I'm too shy and I need to speak up more. During infant school, junior school and secondary school this knocked my confidence a lot as most people would address it in a negative light. But my mums response would always be "It's just the way she is. It's her personality and nobody can change that". I never really payed much attention to what she said up until last year. Being shy and not wanting to be the center of attention, is MY personality so why should people shun me for that? I would never dream of questioning somebody's kindness, so why should people be allowed to do that to me. So this very long experience has proven to me that I'm an individual and not even teachers can take that away from me. 

4. Family issues

Growing up I wasn't really all that happy due to family issues, but thankfully I was too young to understand the difference. I won't go into what happened, but it wasn't what I would wish any child to go through at all. However, It has made me so grateful for what I currently have and also showed me that people really do change. I also think it has equipped me with the knowledge and skills to help somebody who is in a similar position to me. 

As you may have noticed, all four things were quite negative experiences that I have gotten a bunch of good skills and qualities from. I obliviously have more where I have gotten slightly different qualities from, but i feel these are the most influential on the current me. 

I also just want to add that I've had so many great experiences and I'm in no way saying they haven't given me good qualities too. But my main point, is that even the worst experiences will have helped to shape you into that better and more positive person when you look back. :) 

So next time you're struggling through a tough time, try and give it a positive light and in effect be thankful it has made you a better person.